Address to the Dodoma Women's Convention- 
October 1, 2002
Pat Hirschfeld
"Raising Children In This Modern World 
and the International Rights of Children."

 

 

 

Habari asabuhi, rafiki yangu [Good morning, my friends] and sisters in Yesu Kristo

Let us pray, Come into my heart, Come into my heart, Come into my heart Lord Jesus. Come into today, come into stay, and come into my heart, Lord Jesus.

Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, oh Lord, Our strength and our Redeemer.

 Bwana, be with us as we begin this talk on raising our children. Show us how we can mould these children to be heirs to your kingdom. Open our ears to hear your message to us concerning these children and then Oh, Bwana, make us bold to act on this message. Amen

This morning we are going to look at children-special children-your children-my children. (I have 5 children, 10, soon to be 11, grandchildren and one great­ grandchild whose ages range from 20 months to 26 years old.) We are going to look at what the Bible says concerning the raising of children, how we can mould a child to become a responsible adult, what the International Children’s Rights demands of us, and what responsibility the church has in raising these children.

A child is indeed a blessing from God. Every child is a blessing from bwana. They are given to us to nurture, feed, teach and love. We remember women in the Bible who indeed looked at their children as a gift from God, a miraculous gift from God such as Sarah who became a mother even though her husband Abraham was a very old man, and Sarah said,” God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me. Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.” (Geneses 21: 6-7).  Then there was Hannah who had been weeping and crying for a child and God heard her cry and answered her prayer and gave her Samuel, Elizabeth who God blessed with a baby named John the Baptist, even though Elizabeth was barren and her husband Zechariah and she, Elizabeth, were well along in years (Luke 1:7) and Mary who gave birth to Jesus and she marveled at this wondrous gift God had given her.

Remember when you held that first baby in your arms, you looked in its face and suddenly had many expectations or dreams for that child. You prayed they would come to know Jesus as their Savior, to continue in the Christian faith, that they would never go hungry, have a better life than you have and just to be happy. You wanted their life to be perfect. (Example-when I looked into my daughters face, my first thought was to see if her head was round and normal. I had had this fear that she would be born with a pointed head so I asked the Doctor to show me the baby and she had the most beautiful, round head with lots of brown hair. I was so happy!)  Zechariah had great expectations for his son John the Baptist as recorded in Luke 1:76-79 “And you, my child, John, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace. That was great expectations to have for a son! 

Then suddenly you realize you are responsible for this child and you begin to wonder if you are capable of raising this child.

Our Bible says in Proverbs about our parental leadership: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will never depart from it.” Repeat with me, Train up a child in the way he should go and when he id old he will never depart from it.”

That is a great promise. Some examples training up a child in the way he should go are Mary and Joseph who took Jesus to the temple to be circumcised according to their faith when he was only 3 days old. Hannah took Samuel after he was weaned to the temple to serve the Lord as she promised before his birth as it states in I Samuel “For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord” and he worshipped the Lord there and never cut his hair as she promised God.  (Example-my mother died when I was two years old, but it was her dying wish that I would be brought up in the Lutheran faith and my father and my new stepmother were of another faith, they took me to St. John’s Lutheran Church, Hopewell Twp. Sunday School and Church every Sunday and I am still a member there and my faith has grown strong just as my mother had wished). With these parents, the training started early in the life of the child. It is our responsibility to bring this child to God’s house to be baptized. Then he will become a child of God forever.

Even though we have great expectations for this child, these dreams do not always become reality. Our children will disappoint us many times, they will break our hearts. We will ask, where did we go wrong? I never dreamed our son would make the choices he has. We will have to forgive our children many times.  Remember the story of the Lost Son as told in Luke 15: 11-32. A father had two sons. The younger one said to his father, “Father, give me my share of the estate.” So he divided his property between them. “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.  After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

When he came to his senses, he said, “How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him; Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men. So he got up and went to his father.

But while, he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

The Son said to him, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.

But the father said to his servants, “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate. Could you be so forgiving? Many times I have been angry with my older son, we are so much alike, and when he walks into the house, I look at him and instantly hold out my arms and give him a hug. It is necessary to be forgiving many times as a parent.

Every child needs love. They need love to grow and mature. Each one of the mothers I talked about earlier, Mary, Elizabeth and Hannah, loved their children and then the bible states the child grew strong and loved the Lord.  (Example-When I was working at a hospital, a young infant was brought in. She wasn’t developing, as she should. She did not smile. Her eyes looked dull. She didn’t cry. She just lay there. I as a nurse was asked to spend several days with this baby, holding her, rocking her, singing to her and feeding her. Suddenly she was smiling and her color had improved. She looked healthy. Just with the gift of love this happened.) Remember the bible says the greatest gift is love. And it is free. We just need to give that love to our children with hugs, by laughing with them and by listening to them and by letting them know that we care.

Discipline is necessary when raising children. In the book of Hebrews, it talks of discipline as necessary. It says just as your earthly father disciplines his sons the Lord disciplines us. “Do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because of the Lord disciplines those who he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son”. Discipline will produce a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Then how do we discipline a child? We must be firm when we handle our children. Let them know we mean no and not maybe. We must be consistent in our handling of our children, not one day it is ok to do this and tomorrow you cannot do this. Let your children know that you discipline them because you care. In the United States, it is against the law to beat a child. A mother recently was seen beating and slapping and shaking her 4-year-old child in their car in the parking lot of a grocery store. Her picture was shown on TV stations all over the United States and they are looking for this mother to put her in jail. The main worry is for the child’s safety. To discipline our children, we take away things they like to do, such as no more TV for a period of time. It is our way of showing them right from wrong.  (Example-My now 23 year old granddaughter, Mindy, was at my house when she was 4 years old and I made her sit on a stool for several minutes to think over what she had done wrong. She said, “Grandma! You do not love me”. I said, “Yes, I do love you that is why I am making you sit on the stool and think about what you have done wrong. I care about you.”

We want to make good memories of a Christian family life for these children; Memories that they will carry with them through out their lives.  (An example-my granddaughter Emma who is 13 and I were playing a game when she suddenly said, “Grandma, it soon will be October and then November and I can come visit you! “. I said, Emma you can visit me anytime”. To which she replied, “But I love Thanksgiving at your house!” Thanksgiving is a time when we gather together as a family to thank God for all he has given us and we eat turkey. This made me feel very good. We had given this child, Emma, a good memory to carry with her through out her lifetime. She probably will make good memories for her grandchildren. I know we made an lasting memory for 7 of my grandchildren just last week, when our pastor laid her hands on our heads and blessed us for this journey to visit you our Christian sisters in Africa.  Remember, Train up a child how he should go and he will not depart from it.

It is important to worship together. Moses instructed the Israelites that they were to assemble the people-men, women and children-so they can listen and learn to fear the Lord your God and follow carefully all the words of his law. Jesus said, “Bring the little children unto me and I will bless them”. In the United States we have a saying:” The family that prays together stays together.”

What if you have a strong willed child? A child that wants to do things his way. I have 4 strong-willed granddaughters and my children are always asking me “how do I handle these children”? Jesus was a strong-willed child. Remember when he went to the temple when he was 12 years of age and when his parents left, Jesus stayed behind in the temple. When his parents realized he was missing they hunted for him and asked their friends if they had seen him. Three days later they found him in the temple courts, listening and asking questions. His parents were astonished and asked him, “Son, why have you treated us like this”? And he replied, “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”  Then he went home with them and was obedient to them

The church needs to provide places for children to grow in their faith, such as Sunday School, Children’s choirs, vacation bible schools, Junior Lutherans (a study and play group) to name a few. They need to listen to the children and find out where there interests are. It is most important to provide Catechism classes where the child can learn about the Lutheran faith and what it means to be a Lutheran and learn about the gift of Grace God has given to us. Remember God’s Grace is free. The church must not forget this child, as he or she becomes a Young adult. . To always be there with open doors, friendship and love.

You may be wondering what the life of a child in America is like so I am going to share with you a day in the life of my granddaughter Emma as she wrote it. First I will tell you a little of Emma’s background. She is the second child of my second Daughter. She has an older brother, john and a younger brother Adam. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, which is a large city and the Capital city of Ohio. She goes to a city public school, which means there are all races represented in her school that have many different religious background.

Here is her letter to all of you: “Hi, My name is Emma Siddall. I am a typical American teenager. Every morning when I get up, I wake up to my radio playing music. Five days a week I go to school. At school I take mathematics, science, social studies, French, band (where I play a flute) and art. I am in the 8th grade.

After school I watch TV and then do my homework. I then eat dinner and go to whatever activity I need to do that night, such as baseball practice, piano lessons, girl scouts, choir practice or bell practice at church. After my activities are done, I watch about 30 minutes of television and then go to bed.

I love to sing. I play the flute. Piccolo and obo and the piano. I am a good artist and love to draw still life or nature. I love to be with my friends.

I have a mother and father who love me. I am a happy girl.

This is what my life is like. Emma Siddall”

We do have many problems concerning children in the United States such as; drugs which are freely available to children as young as 9 or 10. Recently my small town had a drug bust as we call it where they arrested 9 –10 drug dealers who were selling drugs and some were caught selling to school children.

We also have alcohol abuse. This is a big problem on our college campuses and sometimes High School. High School children have parties in their parents home. If caught drinking at these parties, the parents of the child is held responsible and can be arrested or fined. Binge drinking is all the rage on College campuses. Students cheer while a student drinks beer or alcohol until he becomes unconscious. Sometimes he dies to alcohol poisoning. They are young and out for a good time not thinking what they are doing to their bodies.

Some children bringing weapons such as guns to schools and using them on their classmates or teachers is a growing problem. We now have security people searching children as they enter the school. This is a scary problem to all of us. I remember hearing the Bishop telling how he had been in the area of Columbine High School when one student killed many of his classmates and terrorized many others. He went immediately to help calm the children, offer counseling and to do what he could. He said he never felt so helpless as he did that day.

His heart ached for these children and their parents.

Many of our children come home to an empty house after school and use a key to get in the door, due to their father and mothers working. We call them Latch Key Kids.

Recently some children have been kidnapped out of their own beds during the night, while their sisters were sleeping in the bed in the same room. Sometimes they are found alive but many times they have been abused and killed.

In the news this week, a woman was beating her 4-year-old daughter in her car in the parking lot of a grocery store. She was caught on a video camera and was arrested and is going to trial. It is against the law to beat a child and it is against the law if you observed this beating and you did not report it to the police.

Teachers in school are not allowed to beat a child. They are told not to hug or touch the child as they may be brought to court. It is a different world than when I grew up. These laws are good but we are almost carrying them to an extreme.

These are just a few of the things going on with our children.

Humankind owes the child “the best it has to give.” This is the 1959 UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child. To guarantee the human rights of children is to invest in the future.

As human beings, children are entitled to all the rights guaranteed by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the various treaties that have developed from it. But the children also need special protection and care. They must be able to depend on the adult world to take care of them, to defend their rights and to help them to develop and realize their potential. Many governments pay universal lip service to this ideal; yet have failed to ensure that the rights of children are respected.

Somalia and the United States are two countries that have not signed the International Rights for Children Treaty. After reading the rights, I could not understand why our country was refusing to sign the treaty. I know the Women of the ELCA are always bringing forth these same rights and how we as women can become evolved in these issues by writing our Senators, by volunteering on Boards Dealing with Family Violence, by learning about issues and the acting or becoming an Advocate of Issues.

I called our Legislative Office of Governmental Affairs in Washington DC and found that our not signing the Treaty is purely a political issue. We now have a new Secretary of Foreign Affairs and the government is presently working on signing a Treaty on Women’s Rights. Probably next will be the Children’s Rights Treaty. It seems they can only work on one Treaty at a time.

Every child has the right to an education, freedom of movement, freedom from torture, freedom from discrimination, and freedom from conduct and exploitation.

Children suffer many of the same human rights abuses as adults, but may be targeted because they are dependent and vulnerable. Children are tortured and mistreated by state officials: they are detained, lawfully or arbitrarily, often in appalling conditions: in some countries they are subjected to the death penalty. Thousands are killed or maimed in armed conflicts; many more have fled their homes to become refugees. They are forced to live on the streets. Many work at exploitative or hazardous jobs, or are the victims of child trafficking and forced prostitution. Because children are easy targets, they are sometimes threatened, beaten or raped in order to punish family members who are not so accessible.

The international community has long recognized the need to protect children from such abuses. The 1959 UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child set out 10 principles which provided a powerful moral framework for children’s rights, but which were not legally enforceable. The Convention on the Rights of the Child was adopted by the UN General Assembly in 1989, and entered into force the following year. Since then, the Children’s Rights Convention has been ratified by every single UN member state in the world, except Somalia, which has no central government able to do so for many years-and the United States of America even though we had a lot to do with the writing of the treaty.

According to the Child Rights Convention, every human being under the age of 18 is a child. Children have the right to be heard and to have their own opinions on matters affecting them taken into account, “in accordance with the age and maturity of the child.

It is up to the government to ensure that all children enjoy their rights. No child should suffer discrimination.  The rights of the Children’s Rights Convention apply regardless of race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national, ethnic or social origin, property, disability, birth or other status. They should all have equal opportunity. Girls should be given the same opportunities as boys. Girls are becoming more on equal status with the boys in the USA, but not completely. All should have the same opportunity to learn, to grow, to enjoy an adequate standard of living.

These rights must be promoted, and then they can be enforced. People need to know their rights and then claim them. The Children’s Rights Convention may be the most widely ratified human rights treaty in the world, but it is still a long, long way from Universal acceptance to universal observance. We must work to ensure these rights are enforced.

The Organization of African Unity adopted the only regional treaty on children’s human rights, the African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of the Child, in 1990. The African Children’s Charter deals with social and cultural values of Africa, including those relating to the family, community and society. In some respects, the African Children’s Charter strengthens the protections afforded by the Children’s Rights Convention: it stipulates that everyone below the age of 18 is a child, without exception; it enjoins states parties not to recruit children to military service; and internally displaced children are accorded the same rights as refugees. The Africa Charter seeks to eliminate harmful social and cultural practices, in particular those that are discriminatory or that put the health of the child at risk, such as Female Genital Mutilation and Aids.

After meeting with some of your women from Tanzania, you have asked us to learn about Female Genital Mutilation and speak about it.

Female Genital Mutilation is practiced in some 29 countries in Africa. It is estimated to have afflicted well over 100 million women and girls. Some two million African girls are believed to undergo Female Genital Mutilation with 6,000 a day. Its practitioners see it as a necessary rite for initiation into womanhood and integration into the culture, without which a woman can’t marry.  But increasingly opposed by women and men in Africa and elsewhere as a systematic form of violence against women and girls and a denial of their fundamental rights. As we in America learn more about Female Genital Mutilation, we become enraged and want desperately to help empower the women who oppose this practice.

 This procedure is terrifying and painful to young girls. Female Genital Mutilation is helping spread infections such as the HIV virus that causes aids due to lack of clean instruments used in the procedure. The bloody instruments are used on one girl and then another girl without sterilizing the instrument. Remember, HIV can be transmitted through blood from an infected person. If one of the girls has HIV, this infection will be passed on to the next girl and the next girl until the instatement is sterilized.  This is one way the HIV virus, which causes aids, can be spread. It is our responsibility to protect these young girls and babies.

We must educate everyone concerning the HIV virus that turns into Aids. HIV occurs when a person is exposed to body fluids infected with the virus, such as blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk. The primary modes of HIV transmission are (1) sexual relations with an infected person, (2) sharing hypodermic needles or accidental pricking by a needle contaminated with infected blood; and (3) transfer of the virus from an infected mother to her baby during birth or through breast-feeding a healthy baby.

When the HIV virus enters the body it infects the white blood cells of the immune system. The virus multiple, destroy the cells and then go on to attack other cells. Over a period that may last from a few months to up to 15 years, HIV may destroy enough immune cells that when a person is infected with an infection they can not fight it off.  Or you may just get sick for a month or so and then appear better, but the HIV virus still is in your body attacking these cells. The person may not be aware that he or she has the HIV virus and will infect others during this period. 

Eventually the person will develop full-blown aids and die from pneumonia, cancer etc. This could take up to 10 years.

We, as women, must keep up the pressure for countries to act on these Rights of Children. We are adults and we must protect the children. The Future starts here. Believe me I will be writing letters to my governmental officials on The Children’s Right Treaty and demand they pass this treaty.

 The mission statement of the Women of the Evangelical Lutheran Church In America states “We are to walk boldly on our faith in Jesus Christ”. If each of us would act boldly on the Rights of Children and help promote these rights, we could help ensure our children have a safe place to live, grow and be happy. Each one of us here today knows what Jesus would have done.  Let us walk boldly and do likewise….

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