Let
us pray, Come into my heart, Come into my heart, Come into my heart Lord
Jesus. Come into today, come into stay, and come into my heart, Lord
Jesus.
Lord,
may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable
in thy sight, oh Lord, Our strength and our Redeemer.
Bwana,
be with us as we begin this talk on raising our children. Show us how we
can mould these children to be heirs to your kingdom. Open our ears to
hear your message to us concerning these children and then Oh, Bwana,
make us bold to act on this message. Amen
This
morning we are going to look at children-special children-your
children-my children. (I have 5 children, 10, soon to be 11,
grandchildren and one great grandchild whose ages range
from 20 months to 26 years old.) We are going to look at what the Bible
says concerning the raising of children, how we can mould a child to
become a responsible adult, what the International Children’s Rights
demands of us, and what responsibility the church has in raising these
children.
A
child is indeed a blessing from God. Every child is a blessing from
bwana. They are given to us to nurture, feed, teach and love. We
remember women in the Bible who indeed looked at their children as a
gift from God, a miraculous gift from God such as Sarah who became a
mother even though her husband Abraham was a very old man, and Sarah
said,” God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this
will laugh with me. Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would
nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.” (Geneses
21: 6-7). Then there was
Hannah who had been weeping and crying for a child and God heard her cry
and answered her prayer and gave her Samuel, Elizabeth who God blessed
with a baby named John the Baptist, even though Elizabeth was barren and
her husband Zechariah and she, Elizabeth, were well along in years (Luke
1:7) and Mary who gave birth to Jesus and she marveled at this wondrous
gift God had given her.
Remember
when you held that first baby in your arms, you looked in its face and
suddenly had many expectations or dreams for that child. You prayed they
would come to know Jesus as their Savior, to continue in the Christian
faith, that they would never go hungry, have a better life than you have
and just to be happy. You wanted their life to be perfect. (Example-when
I looked into my daughters face, my first thought was to see if her head
was round and normal. I had had this fear that she would be born with a
pointed head so I asked the Doctor to show me the baby and she had the
most beautiful, round head with lots of brown hair. I was so happy!)
Zechariah had great expectations for his son John the Baptist as
recorded in Luke 1:76-79 “And you, my child, John, will be called a
prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare
the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through
the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those
living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into
the path of peace. That was great expectations to have for a son!
Then
suddenly you realize you are responsible for this child and you begin to
wonder if you are capable of raising this child.
Our
Bible says in Proverbs about our parental leadership: “Train up a
child in the way he should go and when he is old he will never depart
from it.” Repeat with me, Train up a child in the way he should go and
when he id old he will never depart from it.”
That
is a great promise. Some examples training up a child in the way he
should go are Mary and Joseph who took Jesus to the temple to be
circumcised according to their faith when he was only 3 days old. Hannah
took Samuel after he was weaned to the temple to serve the Lord as she
promised before his birth as it states in I Samuel “For his whole life
he will be given over to the Lord” and he worshipped the Lord there
and never cut his hair as she promised God.
(Example-my mother died when I was two years old, but it was her
dying wish that I would be brought up in the Lutheran faith and my
father and my new stepmother were of another faith, they took me to St.
John’s Lutheran Church, Hopewell Twp. Sunday School and Church every
Sunday and I am still a member there and my faith has grown strong just
as my mother had wished). With these parents, the training started early
in the life of the child. It is our responsibility to bring this child
to God’s house to be baptized. Then he will become a child of God
forever.
Even
though we have great expectations for this child, these dreams do not
always become reality. Our children will disappoint us many times, they
will break our hearts. We will ask, where did we go wrong? I never
dreamed our son would make the choices he has. We will have to forgive
our children many times. Remember
the story of the Lost Son as told in Luke 15: 11-32. A father had two
sons. The younger one said to his father, “Father, give me my share of
the estate.” So he divided his property between them. “Not long
after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a
distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.
After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that
whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself
out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the
pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were
eating, but no one gave him anything.
When
he came to his senses, he said, “How many of my father’s hired men
have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and
go back to my father and say to him; Father, I have sinned against
heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son;
make me like one of your hired men. So he got up and went to his father.
But
while, he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled
with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him
and kissed him.
The
Son said to him, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no
longer worthy to be called your son.
But
the father said to his servants, “Quick! Bring the best robe and put
it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the
fattened calf and kill it Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this
son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. So
they began to celebrate. Could you be so forgiving? Many times I have
been angry with my older son, we are so much alike, and when he walks
into the house, I look at him and instantly hold out my arms and give
him a hug. It is necessary to be forgiving many times as a parent.
Every
child needs love. They need love to grow and mature. Each one of the
mothers I talked about earlier, Mary, Elizabeth and Hannah, loved their
children and then the bible states the child grew strong and loved the
Lord. (Example-When I was
working at a hospital, a young infant was brought in. She wasn’t
developing, as she should. She did not smile. Her eyes looked dull. She
didn’t cry. She just lay there. I as a nurse was asked to spend
several days with this baby, holding her, rocking her, singing to her
and feeding her. Suddenly she was smiling and her color had improved.
She looked healthy. Just with the gift of love this happened.) Remember
the bible says the greatest gift is love. And it is free. We just need
to give that love to our children with hugs, by laughing with them and
by listening to them and by letting them know that we care.
Discipline
is necessary when raising children. In the book of Hebrews, it talks of
discipline as necessary. It says just as your earthly father disciplines
his sons the Lord disciplines us. “Do not make light of the Lord’s
discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because of the
Lord disciplines those who he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts
as a son”. Discipline will produce a harvest of righteousness and
peace for those who have been trained by it.
Then
how do we discipline a child? We must be firm when we handle our
children. Let them know we mean no and not maybe. We must be consistent
in our handling of our children, not one day it is ok to do this and
tomorrow you cannot do this. Let your children know that you discipline
them because you care. In the United States, it is against the law to
beat a child. A mother recently was seen beating and slapping and
shaking her 4-year-old child in their car in the parking lot of a
grocery store. Her picture was shown on TV stations all over the United
States and they are looking for this mother to put her in jail. The main
worry is for the child’s safety. To discipline our children, we take
away things they like to do, such as no more TV for a period of time. It
is our way of showing them right from wrong.
(Example-My now 23 year old granddaughter, Mindy, was at my house
when she was 4 years old and I made her sit on a stool for several
minutes to think over what she had done wrong. She said, “Grandma! You
do not love me”. I said, “Yes, I do love you that is why I am making
you sit on the stool and think about what you have done wrong. I care
about you.”
We
want to make good memories of a Christian family life for these
children; Memories that they will carry with them through out their
lives. (An example-my
granddaughter Emma who is 13 and I were playing a game when she suddenly
said, “Grandma, it soon will be October and then November and I can
come visit you! “. I said, Emma you can visit me anytime”. To which
she replied, “But I love Thanksgiving at your house!” Thanksgiving
is a time when we gather together as a family to thank God for all he
has given us and we eat turkey. This made me feel very good. We had
given this child, Emma, a good memory to carry with her through out her
lifetime. She probably will make good memories for her grandchildren. I
know we made an lasting memory for 7 of my grandchildren just last week,
when our pastor laid her hands on our heads and blessed us for this
journey to visit you our Christian sisters in Africa.
Remember, Train up a child how he should go and he will not
depart from it.
It
is important to worship together. Moses instructed the Israelites that
they were to assemble the people-men, women and children-so they can
listen and learn to fear the Lord your God and follow carefully all the
words of his law. Jesus said, “Bring the little children unto me and I
will bless them”. In the United States we have a saying:” The family
that prays together stays together.”
What
if you have a strong willed child? A child that wants to do things his
way. I have 4 strong-willed granddaughters and my children are always
asking me “how do I handle these children”? Jesus was a
strong-willed child. Remember when he went to the temple when he was 12
years of age and when his parents left, Jesus stayed behind in the
temple. When his parents realized he was missing they hunted for him and
asked their friends if they had seen him. Three days later they found
him in the temple courts, listening and asking questions. His parents
were astonished and asked him, “Son, why have you treated us like
this”? And he replied, “Didn’t you know I had to be in my
Father’s house?” Then
he went home with them and was obedient to them
The
church needs to provide places for children to grow in their faith, such
as Sunday School, Children’s choirs, vacation bible schools, Junior
Lutherans (a study and play group) to name a few. They need to listen to
the children and find out where there interests are. It is most
important to provide Catechism classes where the child can learn about
the Lutheran faith and what it means to be a Lutheran and learn about
the gift of Grace God has given to us. Remember God’s Grace is free.
The church must not forget this child, as he or she becomes a Young
adult. . To always be there with open doors, friendship and love.
You
may be wondering what the life of a child in America is like so I am
going to share with you a day in the life of my granddaughter Emma as
she wrote it. First I will tell you a little of Emma’s background. She
is the second child of my second Daughter. She has an older brother,
john and a younger brother Adam. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, which is a
large city and the Capital city of Ohio. She goes to a city public
school, which means there are all races represented in her school that
have many different religious background.
Here
is her letter to all of you: “Hi, My name is Emma Siddall. I am a
typical American teenager. Every morning when I get up, I wake up to my
radio playing music. Five days a week I go to school. At school I take
mathematics, science, social studies, French, band (where I play a
flute) and art. I am in the 8th grade.
After
school I watch TV and then do my homework. I then eat dinner and go to
whatever activity I need to do that night, such as baseball practice,
piano lessons, girl scouts, choir practice or bell practice at church.
After my activities are done, I watch about 30 minutes of television and
then go to bed.
I
love to sing. I play the flute. Piccolo and obo and the piano. I am a
good artist and love to draw still life or nature. I love to be with my
friends.
I
have a mother and father who love me. I am a happy girl.
This
is what my life is like. Emma Siddall”
We
do have many problems concerning children in the United States such as;
drugs which are freely available to children as young as 9 or 10.
Recently my small town had a drug bust as we call it where they arrested
9 –10 drug dealers who were selling drugs and some were caught selling
to school children.
We
also have alcohol abuse. This is a big problem on our college campuses
and sometimes High School. High School children have parties in their
parents home. If caught drinking at these parties, the parents of the
child is held responsible and can be arrested or fined. Binge drinking
is all the rage on College campuses. Students cheer while a student
drinks beer or alcohol until he becomes unconscious. Sometimes he dies
to alcohol poisoning. They are young and out for a good time not
thinking what they are doing to their bodies.
Some
children bringing weapons such as guns to schools and using them on
their classmates or teachers is a growing problem. We now have security
people searching children as they enter the school. This is a scary
problem to all of us. I remember hearing the Bishop telling how he had
been in the area of Columbine High School when one student killed many
of his classmates and terrorized many others. He went immediately to
help calm the children, offer counseling and to do what he could. He
said he never felt so helpless as he did that day.
His
heart ached for these children and their parents.
Many
of our children come home to an empty house after school and use a key
to get in the door, due to their father and mothers working. We call
them Latch Key Kids.
Recently
some children have been kidnapped out of their own beds during the
night, while their sisters were sleeping in the bed in the same room.
Sometimes they are found alive but many times they have been abused and
killed.
In
the news this week, a woman was beating her 4-year-old daughter in her
car in the parking lot of a grocery store. She was caught on a video
camera and was arrested and is going to trial. It is against the law to
beat a child and it is against the law if you observed this beating and
you did not report it to the police.
Teachers
in school are not allowed to beat a child. They are told not to hug or
touch the child as they may be brought to court. It is a different world
than when I grew up. These laws are good but we are almost carrying them
to an extreme.
These
are just a few of the things going on with our children.
Humankind
owes the child “the best it has to give.” This is the 1959 UN
Declaration of the Rights of the Child. To guarantee the human rights of
children is to invest in the future.
As
human beings, children are entitled to all the rights guaranteed by the
Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the various treaties that have
developed from it. But the children also need special protection and
care. They must be able to depend on the adult world to take care of
them, to defend their rights and to help them to develop and realize
their potential. Many governments pay universal lip service to this
ideal; yet have failed to ensure that the rights of children are
respected.
Somalia
and the United States are two countries that have not signed the
International Rights for Children Treaty. After reading the rights, I
could not understand why our country was refusing to sign the treaty. I
know the Women of the ELCA are always bringing forth these same rights
and how we as women can become evolved in these issues by writing our
Senators, by volunteering on Boards Dealing with Family Violence, by
learning about issues and the acting or becoming an Advocate of Issues.
I
called our Legislative Office of Governmental Affairs in Washington DC
and found that our not signing the Treaty is purely a political issue.
We now have a new Secretary of Foreign Affairs and the government is
presently working on signing a Treaty on Women’s Rights. Probably next
will be the Children’s Rights Treaty. It seems they can only work on
one Treaty at a time.
Every
child has the right to an education, freedom of movement, freedom from
torture, freedom from discrimination, and freedom from conduct and
exploitation.
Children
suffer many of the same human rights abuses as adults, but may be
targeted because they are dependent and vulnerable. Children are
tortured and mistreated by state officials: they are detained, lawfully
or arbitrarily, often in appalling conditions: in some countries they
are subjected to the death penalty. Thousands are killed or maimed in
armed conflicts; many more have fled their homes to become refugees.
They are forced to live on the streets. Many work at exploitative or
hazardous jobs, or are the victims of child trafficking and forced
prostitution. Because children are easy targets, they are sometimes
threatened, beaten or raped in order to punish family members who are
not so accessible.
The
international community has long recognized the need to protect children
from such abuses. The 1959 UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child set
out 10 principles which provided a powerful moral framework for
children’s rights, but which were not legally enforceable. The
Convention on the Rights of the Child was adopted by the UN General
Assembly in 1989, and entered into force the following year. Since then,
the Children’s Rights Convention has been ratified by every single UN
member state in the world, except Somalia, which has no central
government able to do so for many years-and the United States of America
even though we had a lot to do with the writing of the treaty.
According
to the Child Rights Convention, every human being under the age of 18 is
a child. Children have the right to be heard and to have their own
opinions on matters affecting them taken into account, “in accordance
with the age and maturity of the child.
It
is up to the government to ensure that all children enjoy their rights.
No child should suffer discrimination.
The rights of the Children’s Rights Convention apply regardless
of race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion,
national, ethnic or social origin, property, disability, birth or other
status. They should all have equal opportunity. Girls should be given
the same opportunities as boys. Girls are becoming more on equal status
with the boys in the USA, but not completely. All should have the same
opportunity to learn, to grow, to enjoy an adequate standard of living.
These
rights must be promoted, and then they can be enforced. People need to
know their rights and then claim them. The Children’s Rights
Convention may be the most widely ratified human rights treaty in the
world, but it is still a long, long way from Universal acceptance to
universal observance. We must work to ensure these rights are enforced.
The
Organization of African Unity adopted the only regional treaty on
children’s human rights, the African Charter on the Rights and Welfare
of the Child, in 1990. The African Children’s Charter deals with
social and cultural values of Africa, including those relating to the
family, community and society. In some respects, the African
Children’s Charter strengthens the protections afforded by the
Children’s Rights Convention: it stipulates that everyone below the
age of 18 is a child, without exception; it enjoins states parties not
to recruit children to military service; and internally displaced
children are accorded the same rights as refugees. The Africa Charter
seeks to eliminate harmful social and cultural practices, in particular
those that are discriminatory or that put the health of the child at
risk, such as Female Genital Mutilation and Aids.
After
meeting with some of your women from Tanzania, you have asked us to
learn about Female Genital Mutilation and speak about it.
Female
Genital Mutilation is practiced in some 29 countries in Africa. It is
estimated to have afflicted well over 100 million women and girls. Some
two million African girls are believed to undergo Female Genital
Mutilation with 6,000 a day. Its practitioners see it as a necessary
rite for initiation into womanhood and integration into the culture,
without which a woman can’t marry.
But increasingly opposed by women and men in Africa and elsewhere
as a systematic form of violence against women and girls and a denial of
their fundamental rights. As we in America learn more about Female
Genital Mutilation, we become enraged and want desperately to help
empower the women who oppose this practice.
This
procedure is terrifying and painful to young girls. Female Genital
Mutilation is helping spread infections such as the HIV virus that
causes aids due to lack of clean instruments used in the procedure. The
bloody instruments are used on one girl and then another girl without
sterilizing the instrument. Remember, HIV can be transmitted through
blood from an infected person. If one of the girls has HIV, this
infection will be passed on to the next girl and the next girl until the
instatement is sterilized. This
is one way the HIV virus, which causes aids, can be spread. It is our
responsibility to protect these young girls and babies.
We
must educate everyone concerning the HIV virus that turns into Aids. HIV
occurs when a person is exposed to body fluids infected with the virus,
such as blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk. The primary
modes of HIV transmission are (1) sexual relations with an infected
person, (2) sharing hypodermic needles or accidental pricking by a
needle contaminated with infected blood; and (3) transfer of the virus
from an infected mother to her baby during birth or through
breast-feeding a healthy baby.
When
the HIV virus enters the body it infects the white blood cells of the
immune system. The virus multiple, destroy the cells and then go on to
attack other cells. Over a period that may last from a few months to up
to 15 years, HIV may destroy enough immune cells that when a person is
infected with an infection they can not fight it off.
Or you may just get sick for a month or so and then appear
better, but the HIV virus still is in your body attacking these cells.
The person may not be aware that he or she has the HIV virus and will
infect others during this period.
Eventually
the person will develop full-blown aids and die from pneumonia, cancer
etc. This could take up to 10 years.
We,
as women, must keep up the pressure
for countries to act on these Rights of Children. We are adults and we
must protect the children. The Future starts here. Believe me I will be
writing letters to my governmental officials on The Children’s Right
Treaty and demand they pass this treaty.
The
mission statement of the Women of the Evangelical Lutheran Church In
America states “We are to walk boldly on our faith in Jesus
Christ”.
If each of us would act boldly on the Rights of Children and help
promote these rights, we could help ensure our children have a safe
place to live, grow and be happy. Each one of us here today knows what
Jesus would have done. Let
us walk boldly and do likewise….
[ Back to Top ]